Kim Avery Coaching

The Surprising Growth Opportunity That Most Coaches Miss

by | 20 comments

Constructive criticism. Honest critique. Growing edges. Call it what you will, as a coach and a businesswoman, my relationship with feedback is a mixture of love and hate.

Hate Love Buttons

Both were stirred up this week when a 37-year veteran in the broadcast industry offered to critique my fairly new, very raw Bite-Sized Marketing Podcast.

I tentatively accepted, and it was the point of no return.

“When I am giving feedback I always want to find something positive to say,” the reviewer began. My hopes rose…

and then fell.

There wasn’t a single positive word.

No encouragement. No affirmation. Not even a “keep trying, I’m sure you’ll improve over time.”

It was brutal.

To Grow or Not to Grow

Believe it or not, this is one of the nicest gifts I’ve been given all year. (Like I said, it’s a love/hate relationship.)

Without this generous man’s help, I would have missed three surprising opportunities for growth that feedback always provides.

1. Personal Growth

You’ve met them. Perhaps you are them. I know I used to be. A person committed to avoiding negative feedback at all costs.

So, the temptation was strong to …

Deflect ¬— “Thanks for the kind offer of a podcast critique, but I don’t want to impose on your valuable time.” That way I could bury my head in the sand and pretend all was well.

Make Excuses“I’ve been overwhelmed at work. Distracted at home. My throat was sore, and the moon was full that day.” In other words, please consider all extraneous circumstances, and tell me what I want to hear.

Blame-shift“Podcasting equipment is costly and complicated.” Thus, it’s not my fault that my podcast is bad.

Yep, there were numerous escape routes I could have taken to avoid the stinging critique.

But it wouldn’t change the truth. And it wouldn’t change me.

Good, bad or ugly, I needed to take responsibility for what I had done.

Accepting negative feedback leads to personal growth.

2. Professional Growth

When I first began my business, insecurity ruled.

Constantly hunting for affirmation, I’d ask caring family and friends, “Do you think this sounds okay?”

And because they loved me, they’d nod, smile, and tell me it was great.

While the warm, fuzzy words brought a temporary high, they were dooming my business to an all-time low.

Expert feedback is necessary for professional growth.

3. Spiritual Growth

We’ve all seen it. In Scripture, in history and in our own lives. The stronger we feel, the more independent we become.

But when weaknesses abounds, we humbly kneel before God.

Admitting I don’t know anything about podcasting is a good thing, as it drives me to prayer.

Honest feedback provokes spiritual growth.

Choosing to Grow

Sure it’s tough to hear that my podcast stinks. It’s tempting to ignore it and walk away.

But today I’m choosing to embrace this prickly critique as a God-sent opportunity for incredible growth. And don’t be afraid to give my podcast a try, I’m working on it as I learn and grow.

It’s Your Turn

How about you? What area of your business needs honest feedback? Who can you ask to help? Be brave. Leave a comment below and begin to experience some of the benefits that feedback can bring.

20 Comments

  1. Mary Yerkes

    Wonderful and timely reminder, Kim. Thanks for being vulnerable.

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Awww… thanks, Mary. I really appreciate you stopping by!

      Reply
  2. Mary Yerkes

    Wonderful and timely reminder, Kim. Thanks for being vulnerable.

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Awww… thanks, Mary. I really appreciate you stopping by!

      Reply
  3. Vicki Corrington

    Kim, I would love to give the gift of a brilliant critique but your transparency and willingness to learn and grow is such a great example of what we teach in our coaching classes as “getting over yourself”. We all relate and benefit as you share your real life lessons. I am honored to have you as a colleague and a friend.

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Thank you, Vicki. I have learned so much from you over the years, I’m humbled by your kind comment.

      Reply
  4. Vicki Corrington

    Kim, I would love to give the gift of a brilliant critique but your transparency and willingness to learn and grow is such a great example of what we teach in our coaching classes as “getting over yourself”. We all relate and benefit as you share your real life lessons. I am honored to have you as a colleague and a friend.

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Thank you, Vicki. I have learned so much from you over the years, I’m humbled by your kind comment.

      Reply
  5. Linda Goldfarb

    Kim these are great points to consider concerning criticism. We can certainly sit and stew in our stuff when others speak in opposition of us, or we can choose to “grow” from it.

    I love your bite-sized tips. They always give me something to nibble on professionally and personally.

    Blessings… Linda

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Thanks, Linda. I know I’ve certainly chosen the “sit & stew” option all too frequently. These days I’m trying harder to learn and grow – it seems like a more productive use of my time 🙂 .

      Reply
  6. Linda Goldfarb

    Kim these are great points to consider concerning criticism. We can certainly sit and stew in our stuff when others speak in opposition of us, or we can choose to “grow” from it.

    I love your bite-sized tips. They always give me something to nibble on professionally and personally.

    Blessings… Linda

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Thanks, Linda. I know I’ve certainly chosen the “sit & stew” option all too frequently. These days I’m trying harder to learn and grow – it seems like a more productive use of my time 🙂 .

      Reply
  7. Laurie Kane

    HI Kim,
    You are a brave person. I’m just starting my new business. Today, I asked God to help me to leave my ego at the door. It’s a tough thing to positively accept criticism. This is a great message.

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Hi Laurie,

      I can tell already that you are going to be a great coach!

      Reply
  8. Laurie Kane

    HI Kim,
    You are a brave person. I’m just starting my new business. Today, I asked God to help me to leave my ego at the door. It’s a tough thing to positively accept criticism. This is a great message.

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Hi Laurie,

      I can tell already that you are going to be a great coach!

      Reply
  9. Marsha

    Kim, what a powerful blog! I know about critiquing & constructive criticism, but to the point of pain? But we need to hear the truth! And the truth might hurt but we must hear it adjust & keep going. great post. Thanks!!

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Thanks for stopping by, Marsha. I love hearing your thoughts.

      Reply
  10. Marsha

    Kim, what a powerful blog! I know about critiquing & constructive criticism, but to the point of pain? But we need to hear the truth! And the truth might hurt but we must hear it adjust & keep going. great post. Thanks!!

    Reply
    • Kim Avery

      Thanks for stopping by, Marsha. I love hearing your thoughts.

      Reply

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